The Price Of Honor: Homophobic Helix
by MexMarco
Summary: Robin Mask has never been a big fan of gay people... This pretty much tells everything.


**THE MARCO IS BACK! **_You goddamned sacks of shit... _

**DISCLAIMER:** Ultimate Muscle/Kinnikuman Nisei doesn't belong to me. The sole thought of ownership by someone like me is like inviting the scorn of the universe inside your underpants... So let's just keep going. 

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** My once strong writer's block can be considered as a great example of what human folly and sloth can do to an individual. Right now it's an almost unconceivable thought to see me here, sitting in front of my computer as I spew mildly aggressive amounts of culture like well placed, powerful hooks to your kidneys. 

God… Being insulting with intelligence is getting difficult for me. I hope you're all enjoying this. 

In any case, all of you know that Yaoi/Shonen Ai is something I find disturbingly bizarre, if not _excruciating_ to the mind like burning puddles of charcoal being thrown at my gonads as if they were ferocious, brutish foes. Indeed; to my eyes, homosexuality is horribly emasculating. 

This is why I feel the forces of heterosexuality have called me to duty as the only goddamned writer in this sick section that doesn't think that men getting things up their ass is _radical_. 

Yes… I said radical. Such vocabulary is what makes me tingle inside. 

As far as I'm concerned, this exercise has reached **_INTELECTUAL BANKRUPTCY_**. Let's just get over the verbal harassment and move on to the interesting part. 

Consider this an _addendum_ to a piece of literature I find quite arousing and emotional at the same time… Leaving aside all the burly fruity cake loving. What is left then? Nearly every scene everyone was staring at each other's groin with indescribable lust. Then I'll tell you what's left, you filthy bunch of slobs: An angry dad with homophobia. 

So grab your special MexMarco! X-Ray glasses and get ready to see the events of The Price Of Honor through Sir Robin Mask's eyes… 

_And then get lots of Cancer…_

Ha ha… That was a good one. 

**The Price Of Honor: Homophobic Helix**  
By MexMarco! 

After carefully turning the smooth doorknob of the suite, Sir Robin Mask slowly made his way into the evidently luxurious locale carrying a paper bag filled with common groceries. With a slight stumble, the old Legend closed the door thanks to a soft and silent push of his toe. 

Lately, his son had been suffering of a disease still unknown to him. After weeks of failed attempts to recover, Kevin was nothing more than an ailing man... Long gone was the proud Chojin warrior of the yellow penetrating gaze who wielded the great knight helmet, determined to defeat his foes at any cost. The last member of the Mask heritage was merely a living corpse crippled by a mysterious evil. 

The caring father had expected to see his son resting at the couch, still affected by the unbearable pain. However, there was nothing more than a pile of sweat covered sheets and an old pillow... and not even a clue of Kevin's current location. 

Shrugging, he just kept walking, eventually reaching the periphery of the suite's restroom. Still striving to keep his balance, a small package of ham fell off the bag making a barely audible thud on the carefully carpeted floor. The legend grimaced and cursed under his breath as he made haste to put the rest of the groceries on the kitchen's table. After putting the rest of the things in safety, Robin walked back to the plastic wrapped package. 

_Ham... Ham... Fucking ham... Fuckingham..._

Slightly giggling at his own, senseless and incoherent english joke, the legend leaned forward to pick up the ham which was lying next to the bathroom's door. However, as his strong mature hands came in contact with the object, the crimson eyed champion heard a sound that made him stammer in shock. He had heard it too many times over his life, so how could he be wrong? It couldn't be... It just couldn't be... 

It was the sound of... of...

**BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART! **

The loud and disturbingly sickening fart echoed all across the living room like a never abating gale, it's smell creeping all over the place killing all life in a 15 feet radius. Robin Mask couldn't help but sigh and cringe as the methane overwhelmed his nostrils like boiling acid. 

_Stupid burritos..._

However... there was yet another noise besides the legend's glib anal sigh. It was apparently coming from the bathroom. 

Trying to listen with more attention, the crimson eyed Chojin put his ear closer to the door as he silently celebrated. 

**_Kevin! He's taking a shower! He has healed!!!_**

_And it was about time. Motherfucker needs to fix my TV...._

Much to his chagrin, Robin heard something else that froze his heart for an instant as his eyes widened with confusion, anger and surprise. Besides the usual sound of water sprinkling, echoing as it softly hit the bathtub's surface uncountable times, the legend heard something else... 

_Goddammit... I didn't fart... _

Okay dude. Chill. 

He heard... 

_"__Oh my God Croe! You're… so amazing…"_

The legend's face became twisted by the sheer horror of the scene he was indirectly witnessing. Letting out a choking gasp, Robin quickly stood up and walked towards the kitchen nodding frantically while rubbing his strong iron temples. 

_Stupid crack… Making me hallucinate shit… _

Recomforting himself, the elder Mask took out a salami from the bag of groceries and began to chop it with a knife he had previously taken out of the many drawers available before him. Maybe Kevin would be hungry after he finished taking his shower. 

Fifteen minutes later, the restroom's door opened, letting out a dense steam that covered the silhouette of the man that was emerging from within. 

"Hey son… I'm chopping some salami for…" 

He was forced to stop as he noticed that it was not one but _two_ silhouettes coming from the bathroom's depths. 

Robin saw the two walking out of the bathroom, Kevin wearing only trousers and with one arm around Croe's shoulders for support. The latter, noticing the legend's wide, horrified stare, quickly coughed. 

"Dude...Your son is GRAND, if you know what I mean." Said the silent Chojin as he wiggled his eyebrows, covered by his peculiar crown shaped mask. 

_Lay your arms off my son you faggot! _Thought Robin as he, through unexpected reflexes, brought his knife down and made an uneven cut on the salami. 

"Come on... "DAHDEE"! Nothing wrong with a bit of loving!" Said Kevin as he giggled with faked innocence. 

_I'mma kill you motherfucker!_ Once again, without taking his gaze off the two, the Legend brought his knife down cutting the salami in half. 

"Nope! Don't want to know, just don't want to know..." Robin shook his head vigorously, increasing the speed by which he was cutting the salami. Before either could open their mouths to speak any further, he reiterated. "Nope...don't want to know..." The duo shrugged and made their way back to the living room. "Don't want to know..." 

_Queers..._

Trying to remain conscious, the crimson eyed legend focused once more in the piece of salami as he chopped it with a shaking hand, leaving a pile of poorly cut, uneven slices. 

Infuriated by his son's recent actions, Robin Mask brought down his knife violently on the piece of meat. 

_**YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH! **_

The legend couldn't help but raise an eyebrow with curiousity. Was that Croe's voice? Had he heard what he thought he heard? Determined to know the reason of such vicious, internal echoes, the crimson eyed legend gently poked the salami with the point of his knife. 

**_ACK!_**

Was he going insane? What was the relation between the piece of meat and Lord Croe Flash? 

_Wait… this thing… It's shaped like a wang… _

Robin understood perfectly what was happening. 

_THREE INCHES LESS FOR YOU MR. FLASH!!! HEEE HEEE HEEE HEE!!!!_

The knife came down furiously, almost carving a cut on the chopping board. 

**_EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!_**

For the rest of the day, Lord Robin Mask spent his time in merry imaginary wang slicing. 

Rumors say that, while our homophobic hero was practicing his emasculation techniques, Kevin and Croe had a viciously gross lap dance. Eventually, attracted by the smell of cock, Malice joined them in their shit. 

'Cause he's a queer too, you know? 

**END **


End file.
